Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize