uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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