If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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