Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize