What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
