Sponge bath it is.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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