Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
