the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
