Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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