FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
