i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
