Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
