that's an acceptable place to lick
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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