tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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