I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
