i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
