I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
