Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
