R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
