Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
