I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
