eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
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In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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