gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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