And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
