We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
