You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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