saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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