Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
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I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
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Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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