He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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