just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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