we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
