First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you had me at cake vodka
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
