I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
