Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
