Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
