You're so nebulous sometimes
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
