I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
