Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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