I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
