I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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