??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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