i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize