ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
