problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
