I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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