Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
