I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
