the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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