I need help removing her.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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