Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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