yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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