Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
