I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
be right there i have to get my cape
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
