Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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