One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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