if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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