yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
